«UndeadLord Thy Have Become And Forever Will Be»

Kind of fast its already nearly a year that im in National service and close to 6 months of being a fire and rescue specialist hehe... sux that the work load is kind of shitty for the pay cos burden >>>> than pay as we are not properly treated as compared to regulars... well its ns shit happens lol... Atleast its fun knowing that the csm is a good person lol. Wonder why people higher up can be so blur at times and your own superiors can be a little too hasty and not knowing any of their shit...

Well still considering how to work my life nx year considering how my grades were average for A's and my working environment does not allow me to concentrate fully on studying again... What to expect working beside the graveyard lol, gets dark and misty at night but no encounters by me of any kind. Glad thou, but its nice knowing that people around you are scared at night about this stuff. I just kind of smile hehe...

Well hope my stuff written here never gets read cos i might get pwned lol by my superiors, well its my personal opinion only so not a statement for giving claims of any kind hehehe... Work is work and play is play, so when it comes to work, who cares, just do as you are told and finish the job in the most fullest kind of way you think you want it to be...

cheers from the one only Darke X

Will there ever come a day where thy find a friend, that will will stick with thy till the very end...
Where my sorrow is turned to smile and darkness turned to light...

Yesterday, to see such perfection for a few hours was such bliss. Atleast it manage to bring me a smile for once to look at such wonder. I for a guy who does crazy things could even say a word to approach such beauty. And now, I sit at home wondering if there is something for me out there that i can grasp upon. My mind is now clouded once more with thoughts and feelings which I consider unknown.
Even for a place where i consider a place of shelter and understanding, i feel no sense of belonging there and my unforgiving soul wanders every night to seek a place where i can belong. And the very void within me still struggling to maintain control of my dire senses.

Years has it been where i can be fulfilled with joy and satisfaction. For now, my satisfaction is only fulfilled with learning but the point of doing exams bring out the bitter anger within me. And now joy has been so far only a minimal which i try to cherish as much as possible.

Even though my life is a bit messy and can be quite sorrowful, i still manage to bring happiness and joy to those around me (most of them).

What am I, a being with limited power, capable of doing to bring my ownself to an understanding? For now, i will continue to wander...

Fast it seems how time moves on without a single glance of the past... Facing 'A' levels in my face and feeling a confusion in my mind, i seem to see that something is not right... Well this year is not going too well considering since the start I face more and more misunderstandings... Worst of all is the end does not look too nice, considering 3 of my relatives have passed away in 3 weeks... Well keeping my emotions at bay (locked up in the deepest dungeons of my darkened heart), I feel less pitiful and just seem to have an empty soul... After being reminded that I was never alone within the exam hall, as God is always by my side (hopefully), my mind was lighted with a pleasant ease to allow me to feel more confident and less worried... Hehehe, even though I barely did much the past 2 weeks... Since I was born, I was never regarded as normal for a child, surviving not in the womb in my mom. I manage to reach the dome of a mosque at preschool, run around like an idiot, punched and even bitten by others (heck I was never even afraid of them) at primary school, even acting like a monkey climbing the stairs... Listening to how heaven and hell was depicted made me feel a sense of mixed feelings even (weird for a kid)... Well I still remembered there was one time it was raining and I was walking on an open area without even receiving a drop of  water... Sounds unbelievable even in my opinion LOL... Heck, for now time for me to seek peace with my self and hope for the better within my Future...

Peace be upon thee, yours truly Darke X aka Hakeem

Major depression period.... After getting first 2 papers my brain economy is now facing a new meltdown, causing major inflationary rates to my mind and making me more confused... Thou its 1month away from A levels, i am very unsure of my entire mind if i can endure anymore unsuspecting foreign influence as a lot has already came from my folks which backfired my entire economic control. It was usually easier in the past considering my economy was just a developing economy. Probably now, my economy has just experienced a major depression and facing losses, as a booming economy explodes at any time not accounting situation or preventive measures... Hope it manages to enter a recovery period soon (o.0')

Well back to real person perspective, i can understand how many issues in life can be controversial and that can be only overcome by the user... But to face and endure the pain is an agony, an unstable affliction biting and chewing every part of the weakened mind. By throughout time, those that make it or did it, usually faces much content after the entire process. Life seems to be so much predictable nowadays that anyone can just do a research and predict what is going to happen to anybody at any given time.... Well now i'm pretty much lost of ideas of what to say or do, so I'll just leave it for today... 0.<

Ps, I know you are out there reading XY, bwhaaha stop stalking me lol, nah just kidding have fun reading roflmaololbbqpwn